"Friend"- What does it mean?

I recently had a "fall out" with a "friend".  Many things were said between us, but one thing stuck out more than any other.

"One tough week for me throws out all the hours I've given to you??"

This statement more than any other keeps rolling around in my head.  At my age, you probably have gotten into a  few "fall outs" with friends.  I know that I have.  But never have I been told this "all the hours I've given to you".  
I NEVER knew I was punching a clock.  I never knew that there was a "time tab" being kept to be thrown one day in my face.  
Now if a therapist had said this, I could totally understand it, but not someone who says "I love you and care about you."  

So, that made me think about what is "Friendship"?  I may be wrong, but this is MY idea of what a true friendship is.

Friends are there for you through some of your happy times, some of your sad times, some of your mad times, but ALWAYS there through the devastating times.

Friends do not keep score as to who did what to whom and why.  They just see a need and try their best to help.

Friends respect each other's opinions, even when they don't agree.

Friends give advice out of a loving place in their heart, not judgement, or comparison to others issues.

Friends will ALWAYS see your faults, and still love you. 

Friends pray for you, your dreams, your hopes, your struggles, your family.

Friends will let you down, as they are only human, but will "own" it, and ask forgiveness. 

Friends do not keep "time tabs"!

I pray that for whoever reads this, YOU would have a friend that blesses you with a real, true friendship. 

Please share with me YOUR ideas of what a friendship means to you. 

The King's Daughter - A HubPage Article by Tamarajo

The King's Daughter

By Tamarajo

Source: Ramona Haveranack

INTRODUCTION

This next series of hubs will be taken once again from a women's conference presentation and is addressed to a female audience but I do not wish nor intend to alienate male readers. There are biblical principles that are applicable to all that can be gleaned from this message and might give male readers some insight into the vulnerabilities and needs of the females around them.

^{Psalm 45:9} Kings’ daughters are among Your honorable women;
At Your right hand stands the queen in gold from Ophir.
¹⁰ Listen, O daughter,
Consider and incline your ear;
Forget your own people also, and your father’s house;
¹¹ So the King will greatly desire your beauty;
Because He is your Lord, worship Him.
¹² And the daughter of Tyre will come with a gift;
The rich among the people will seek your favor.
¹³ The royal daughter is all glorious within the palace;
Her clothing is woven with gold.
¹⁴ She shall be brought to the King in robes of many colors;
The virgins, her companions who follow her, shall be brought to You.
¹⁵ With gladness and rejoicing they shall be brought;
They shall enter the King’s palace.

One of the greatest challenges of women sometimes is to believe that they are loved. Many of us have spent a good portion of our lives attempting to convince ourselves that we are truly loved through the dramatics of our relationships.


To read the rest of this great article, go to The King's Daughter.

Out Of The Mouth of Babes - "THE" Talk

I was recently told by a friend of mine, a mother of 4 boys, that I should have "THE talk" with my 10 year old son, if he is asking. I have been dreading it because I feel like I will PUT the thoughts in his head if they aren't already there.

He asks often about "how does the sperm fertilize the egg?" He knows that "sperm" fertilizes the "egg" in plants and humans and animals. He just learned how the sperm of flowers fertilizes the egg. He asked how it happened in humans. I said, "I will let you know when you get a little older." A few days later, I ran into my "above mentioned" friend and told her. She has a farm and uses the animals as examples...lucky her!

So, at dinner, something was mentioned that gave me an opening to start discussing "THE talk". He let me know he knew what sex was. I tried not to look surprised, more like scared. I told him to tell me what sex was. At first, he didn't want to, but gave in. This is what he told me:

Ok, Mom, I have seen it on T.V's many times.  The man and the woman get naked, they get in bed.  They French Kiss and the guy puts the sperm in the girl's mouth.  

With as straight a face as I could muster, I said, "Yep, that is it!"    :)

Would You Shave Your Head If It Cured Childhood Cancer?

Help children who are afflicted with childhood cancer...be a hero!

Childhood cancer cures can be found, even if it is done one "shave" at a time.

The Little Things

I am so guilty of letting "little things" ruin my day.   Little glitches in my schedule drive me insane.  We need to get from point A to point B and that is it!  There is no time for diaper changes, bathroom stops, flat tires, or tickets.  Can you relate?
But I am learning, very s-l-o-w-l-y learning, to start to look at these "little things" for what they truly are.   LITTLE.  There are reasons for everything, and sometimes that slow person in front of you on the road, going 30 mph instead of 50 mph is saving you from an accident that would have happened if you were not stuck behind them.    That bathroom stop gave you time to share a laugh with your children.   The flat tire allowed you to see that God sends angels in human form to help you in your times of trouble, just like He promised.
There is a great song, "This Is The Stuff" by Francesca Battistelli , that totally hits the "nail on the head".






I encourage each of you, not matter what your "little things" are, to look at them as the "stuff" God uses to show you how blessed you are.

After the storm | RedGage

After the storm | RedGage

We recently had a major storm in our area.  It ended by noon.  As we went out to deliver the papers, we took many pictures of the after math.  The sun was shining and it was amazing.  "After the storm" is my collection of these photos on RedGage.

WE ARE FAMOUS!!!!

My son and I were on the radio this morning.  We listen to KLOVE 95.4 every morning while doing the papers.  This morning, they were looking for funny "On my way to work" stories.  I had one to share, and after getting permission from my son to tell it, as it mostly about him, I called.  It was busy like 6 times and then it rang...and I got to talk to THE hosts Lisa and Scott!  How cool.

So I told them my story.  And after the song that was playing.  They played the clip they had of  me telling it!  My daughter had just enough time to use her camera to take a video of our speaker..LOL...for sound only.  Just so stinkin' cool!

Dad's Addiction

My son is dealing with a weight issue. He is ten and short for his age which does not help the weight issue. For about two years, our pediatrician, whom I adore, has been warning me about what to do. I have not been faithful to it.

My son's two addictions, and yes, people, they ARE addictions, are candy and soda, specifically root beer. If he could have a diet of just those for the rest of his days, he would be a happy camper.

The pediatrician does not agree with diet soda at all. He wanted me to cut out his soda drinking all together, but I reduced the amount instead. We are not down to one drink a week. The other time is water or 1% milk.

There is no candy in the house. When the "sweet tooth" bug attacks, there are chocolate rice cakes, 60 calorie yogurts, and ice pops.

There is no more hamburger, there is ground turkey. There is fresh fish, instead of fish sticks most of the time. No more salami for lunch meat, there is turkey instead.

Every once in a while, we will get a treat, but nothing to sabotage what we are doing.

He is still gaining weight....why? Two things.

#1 He is a "sneak" eater. The reason I can have NO soda in the house is because he will sneak sips. All the baking chocolate chips are gone, the sprinkles are gone. Anything that was candy like....gone. He will sneak pieces of bread, mostly at night before bed. He feels still hungry. He doesn't drink very much water, hates the taste, and that would help fill him up. He is so used to eating whenever he wants to, that it is really hard for him to stop.

#2 His dad. We are not together. He has a visitation during the week and every other weekend. These weekends consist of candy and soda, soda and candy. Chocolate syrup for milk, slushies for the heck of it. On and on. YES, he knows the situation, because even after telling him repeatedly my fears as I have watched him gain and gain, it must have HIT him one day and he called me to share his fears of diabetes and heart problems for our son. Thought that would have ended all this chaos. Oh how foolish I was.

My son now has fears:

Mom, I am afraid I am going to have a heart attack if Dad doesn't stop having this crap at his house.

Mom, I am afraid I am going to have a stroke.

Mom, I am afraid I am going to have diabetes.

Mom, I am most afraid I am going to have cancer.

I tell him to stand up for himself and tell Dad to stop buying this stuff. He tells me, "Dad said it is his 'addiction'." Well, obviously, Dad wants to make it our son's, too, and it is.

"Just Put The Hammer Down"

I have had a problem for such a long time now.  I don't know when it began and I pray that one day it will stop.  This issue has effected every aspect of my life from teen years, to the birth of my children, the raising of my children, and even now.....even today.

I have a huge "hammer" and I "beat" myself with it often and for as long as I can remember.  I don't think I ever realized it until a wonderful friend, whom I love dearly, kept saying "Put the hammer down, Tonya."   He tried for years to get rid of that nasty thing, but all he was able to do was make the hammer smaller.


I wish I could "pinpoint" when and why it all started.  I think that I could analyze the reason enough to break free from it.  It drives me crazy to know, intellectually, that is not good, how much harm comes from it, how it sucks the joy out of any occasion, and yet, I feel helpless to "release" it.

My most recent "hammer" time  started slowly a few days ago, and went into full force last night.  A little background:

I am a single mom of three wonderful kids, ages 16,10,3.  My mom, who was my best friend all my life, as I was an only child, was "taken" from me 4 years ago this  coming March.  What I mean by "taken" is that she is in a respiratory rehab facility 2 1/2 hours away from me, with a trach in her throat, hooked to a ventilator machine to breathe each and every breath she takes.  The REAL "beautiful" side of smoking.  She was diagnosed with Emphysema over 13 years ago.  She didn't stop smoking until 2 years before she had to come to the rehab facility. 

My mom was always there for advice, and gave it regularly whether you wanted it sometimes or not.  I never made a "move" without consulting with her first.  We, my firstborn and I, moved back in with her in 1998.  As her condition got worse, I knew I could never leave her.  She was on O2 twenty-four hours a day.  She was able to go out, when and if her "fears" let her.  With this horrible disease comes panic attacks and massive anxiety.  Another "beautiful" part.  Cold and flu season were "death" watches as we were all terrified we would bring something home to her.  We wore masks, sanitized all the time, and stayed away from her, at least into another room, if we were sick.  One of the minor reasons I chose to home school my kids was to reduce the amount of germs  that they would come in contact with and bring home to her. 

2007, she got a cold she could not fight.  So much more to that story, for another time, and she ended up with the trach and on the ventilator with extremely high hopes of being weaned off.  When it did not happen in the ICU, she had to be transferred, by Medicaid rules, to this facility.  

So she was taken from our home, from my kids and thrown into a situation she was so scared of that I lost the Mom I used to know.  

We can only visit her once a week, due to money issues, as it costs a tank of gas and we eat dinner there and buy her whatever personal items she needs.  If we are sick, or the weather is bad, we have to skip a week.  With three kids, sometimes the sicknesses last three weeks and I am yearning to see her.

She doesn't "talk" to me, she has no voice, and doesn't like to use the "speaking valve".  So I just sit next to her bed and talk for the hours we are there, or we watch T.V. together.  I know she is content with me just being in the room, as I am with her just being in the room.  

She can not see very well now, she has cataracts in both eyes, and due to her "situation", the facility feels that no eye doctor will perform the cataract surgery to remove them.  So she can't watch T.V., or get on her computer to email me or watch movies I have bought her.  

At this point in time, due to sickness, weather and car issues (bad brakes, bald back tire, bad "arm" on passenger  side), I have not seen her in three weeks. 

I knew on Thursday the chances of seeing mom were not good as I had no money and no mechanic...he was on vacation till the 28th, to fix my car issues.  And the hammer started.  Now, I know that my decision to not go was right, the safety of my kids and myself are number one; but it is a bitter pill to swallow.  "Hammering" myself about why I don't have enough money to fix these things.  "Hammering" myself about how I am failing her.  On and on it goes.

I also KNOW that my mom will understand.  She will want us to be safe.  But I picture her there...at the rehab....in bed....struggling for each breath, - remember, just because the machine breathes for you, doesn't mean you stop doing it on your own.  So each and every one of her pathetic, Emphysema'd lung breaths cause her  great struggle . - not able to see, being lonely.......I am sure you get the picture.

So I decide to call her.  She has a phone in her room and I set it up with her nurse that day.  I want her to hear  my voice.  I want her to know why I am not coming......again.    We have a code:1 "click" of the tongue for "yes" and 2 for "no", and 3 if she needs to get off cause she can't "handle" it anymore.  It tends to stress her out, and the more she stresses, the harder it is for her to "breathe".  

I tell her why I can't come THIS time.  I tell her how we pray for her every day, how she is NOT forgotten, how much I love her and miss her.  I start to cry.  Her "clicking" is many.  Her way to telling me to stop....stop the hammering.  Just don't know how, folks.  

I know, intellectually, I am doing my best.  I know that this 4 year journey with taking "care" of my mom is more than many people would do for their parents.  I should feel peace inside that I am doing" all I can."  But I don't.  That "hammer" smashes that peace.  

Today, I find this on my wall at Facebook:

Am waiting for my heart to understand what my mind does....so I can put away the hammer.....for good.

What a "Cool" Idea for a class project: An Igloo!

During the winter, there is a level of "boredom" in the classroom. Much needed recess can be limited due to bad weather conditions. Students start to show signs of being "antsy". When this starts to happen in your class, it is time for a project.

Here is a great project for not only your class, but even your school.

Start off by sending letters home with students explaining that the class is going to be be building an igloo out of milk jugs. Explain that the parents can help by sending in as many CLEAN milk jugs with its cap as they can. You will need gallon and quart milk jugs to complete the project. Share with them that your goal is about 500 milk jugs.

While you are waiting for the milk jugs to come in, you can have your students start to come up with a schedule of responsibilies for cleaning any milk jugs that are dirty, and keeping track of the number of milk jugs collected. This way all students are involved.

The students can also design fliers to put up around the school to get other classes and staff to help in their goal of 500 milk jugs.

Make sure you have glue guns and plenty of high quality glue stick. Depending on the age of your students, you may have to get adult helpers to do all the glueing together of the milk jugs.

You will need a large cardboard box, possibly a refrigerator box, or maybe two or three large cardboard boxes taped together for a base. Once you have the base, find it's center and mark it. Using the center, draw a large circle where the first row of jugs will be glued on. Don't forget to put in a space for the entryway.

As the jugs come in, start gluing them two at a time. Keep the tops off for now, the students can put them on later as you build up your igloo. You will want to glue them with the handles facing each other. Once you have enough jug sets done, you can start your first row.

You will glue your sets with the tops facing inward. Keep in mind that as your glue your sets around the circle, that you will have to angle each set to create the circle shape. Also, make sure to glue your sets not only to each other but also to the row underneath the row you are working on. The exception being your first row that you will glue to the cardboard.

Each row will have approximately 1 to 2 less jugs as you continue to build your igloo up. When your entryway has reached the height you need, glue a straight row across of jugs with quart size jugs on each side for support. Don't forget to have the students put the caps on each milk jug to save from any injuries.

When finished, have an igloo party inviting parents and any other classes or school staff who helped you and your students to accomplish this great project.



Continue reading on Examiner.com: Great igloo craft for the classroom - Albany Arts and Crafts |

Amsterdam is going to the birds!

In November, Amsterdam, New York, as so not to be confused with Amsterdam in Europe, was being over run with crows.  On our way through the city, my daughter took some footage of these crows in great numbers.  By the way, yes, that is me babbling on my cell phone. 

My son, Noah, teaches school today!

I have been teaching my son the rules of plurals.  I thought a great way for him to learn these even better, would be to teach them.  We borrowed his sister's camera that takes videos, and had a great time!

A new beginning

This single mom needs a new start.  And I am going to do that by starting here and writing online.  Come back for more great posts as I share with you this wonderful adventure.